Have a Happy Period.

This is the message I found on the strip that covers the adhesive on my Always feminine maxi pad.

Now I am sure this isn't really the topic that appeals to the males out there, but c'mon...you have to see the humor in it.

Have a Happy Period.

That is like saying Have a Rockin Root Canal or Have an Awesome Colonoscopy.
What bonehead thought this genius marketting plan up?

I can see it now... A crowded conference room on the 50th floor of some major NYC building. The Ad-men sitting around..the Always deadline slowly approaching and still no big hook. Coffee and pizza has been ordered because the big man has decreed that no one leaves the conference room until someone has a brilliant plan for the new campaign. It comes down to the new "feminine cloths" which would come with every single pad (basically a wetnap for your cooch) and this dumb ass slogan.

But these brilliant Ivey league people decide that both ideas are just too good to pass up
And the brilliant Ivey League people at Always think it is a great idea too so they put both out on the market.
Great cheers resound from the conference room because no one will get fired and the company has kept the extremely lucrative Always account.

Then one of the bigwigs decides to move to Vermont and make a billion on baby food. Oh wait. That's "Baby Boom" with Diane Keaton. I love that movie.

My point is, is that when I am sitting on the can having a very private moment with myself, bemoaning the fact that I have to go through this process every month when I have absolutely no intention of ever having children, the LAST thing I need is to rip off a sign from my necessary but unappealing product that says
Have a Happy Period.

I would love to find out where that CEO is having his next doctor's appointment and leave a note on a rubber glove that says
Have a Dynamite Prostate Exam!

I mean really.