K-tel Catholic Christmas

I hope some of you are sitting. Well, I assume most of you are sitting, but if you happening to be standing, sit down.
I, Frances Eileen Kathryn Mary Curry, have started going back to church.

(leaving time for people to put their eyes back in their sockets)

I remember back in the 90's when the Northridge earthquake happened, people started running back to church, and then after a few months it sort of died down. I have gone and come back 2 times in the last 20 years, and while it wasn't inspired by world events, much like those people, after a couple of months I stopped going as well. Will I continue going? I think so, but who knows.

Now I know some of my closest and dearest who have issues with the church ( there are at least 3 of you and you and I know who you are) are rolling your eyes or worse, and I can't say I blame you. The Catholic Church certainly hasn't done much to clean itself up, and with the loss of the last pope, well, it's looking pretty grim. However, I find peace and constancy there, which is more than I can say for any other section of my life, so even if I have some doubts about the Transubstantiation, which makes me a questionable Catholic at best, I am going anyway. Cuz it's quiet and I can think, and for one hour a week, I can make myself focus on the positive. So get over it.

Anyway now that that shocker is over I can get to what I wanna say.

Where the hell are the Catholic Christmas Hits???
My favorite part of church has always been the singing, and at Christmas time especially. I love Christmas music, always have. I have gone to mass about 5 times in a row now, and NOT ONE Joy to The World, or O Come O Come Emmanuel, not even a Greensleeves!!!!
They are singing songs I don't know at all!!!
Hell, I know the alto part for almost all those songs and they are singing stuff I have never even heard of!! Prince of Zion??? What IS that?

Gimme some Ding Dong Merrily on High!, or The Infant King (Instant King to you Beechwood folk). I want my Hark the Herald Angels Sing! All those songs with the exclamation point at the end.

When one has returned to church after a long absence, one needs these things to feel comfortable. Like an old sneaker, these songs are all worn out and haggard, and I love them all, so I better get my K-tel catholic Christmas pretty soon or I am just going to start singing them in the middle of mass.

It's NYC, they have to be used to crazy people anyway.

So Long Fidelity

I was going to write this long blog about how much I loved this gig. About
how much fun it was to work there, and how everyone was so cool. There was this whole great bit about how during load out it was like a Barney's Fire Sale, and my close friends have added some lovely articles of clothing to their wardrobes. I was also able to take all the U2 records that were on the stage, completely replacing the vinyl I had lost after high school. SCHWING!

I spent a couple of days on it, but during that time, I was also trying to secure work for myself
so I wouldn't be living in a card board box.

What I am trying to say here is

Well

I don't give a crap anymore.
LOL. I crack myself up.

I mean, everything I said was true. It was a great place to work. I enjoyed it completely.
But it only lasted a minute and I hafta keep rolling.

So, adieu High Fidelity.

Hey, anybody got a job for me?

P.S. My opinions on Ben Brantley still stand. Jackass.

A Review of A Reviewer

photo by Brent Murray/ NYTimes.com


Ben Brantley is an asshole.

Don't know who he is? Well he is the main theater critic for the NY Times. What a jerk. I mean, ok my new show High Fidelity may very well suck. I mean, I like it. All my friends who have seen it liked it, but I am willing to except that some people will hate it. It certainly isn't going to change the face of American Musical Theatre.

But I am so sick of reading his venom filled, excessively mean reviews. It is as if the guy has a personal vendetta. Maybe he wasn't picked to play Harold Hill in the Durham, N.C. community theater production of Music Man or something. That is the only reason I can come up with for why he is constantly representing himself as such a jackass.

The Daily News and The New York Post also had problems with the show, but at least they had the decency to be respectful of the people who work there everyday. Mr. Brantley believes that being cruel sells newspapers. When was the last time a theater review sold a paper??? Perhaps in the 80's and 90's it did, but since the dawn of the internet, everyone reads the shit online for free now.

I mean look at that picture of him. He LOOKS like an asshole. That is an official NY Times photo of him. The look on his face says to me that not only is he an asshole. He enjoys and is fully aware that he is an asshole. He seems to be proud of his assholeness. Reveling in his sphincter like reputation. Look at that face again. That has got to be the face of a lonely human being. I can't imagine he has any friends at all, except for coat tail riders, and Michael Reidel. ( for those of you outide NYC, Michael Reidel is another known asshole that the entire theater community hates.)

Mr. Brantley knows his name on a review is powerful. It is true. It is. His written opinion has certainly helped close many shows over the years. But with power comes responsibility. You would think that he would respect this power and his ability as a writer to not resort to the lowest denominator of written expression to publicly voice his opinion.

I think instead of a paper as intelligent as The Times, he should consider going to work for The Enquirer or The Globe, whose papers profit off of the incriminating, salacious writing he favors.

Kiss My Ass Ben Brantley, you balding pissed off at the world wanna be. Whoever is dating or partnered with this guy had better start putting out and take one for the team already. How's that for cruel and salacious, you hack.