A Review of A Reviewer

photo by Brent Murray/ NYTimes.com


Ben Brantley is an asshole.

Don't know who he is? Well he is the main theater critic for the NY Times. What a jerk. I mean, ok my new show High Fidelity may very well suck. I mean, I like it. All my friends who have seen it liked it, but I am willing to except that some people will hate it. It certainly isn't going to change the face of American Musical Theatre.

But I am so sick of reading his venom filled, excessively mean reviews. It is as if the guy has a personal vendetta. Maybe he wasn't picked to play Harold Hill in the Durham, N.C. community theater production of Music Man or something. That is the only reason I can come up with for why he is constantly representing himself as such a jackass.

The Daily News and The New York Post also had problems with the show, but at least they had the decency to be respectful of the people who work there everyday. Mr. Brantley believes that being cruel sells newspapers. When was the last time a theater review sold a paper??? Perhaps in the 80's and 90's it did, but since the dawn of the internet, everyone reads the shit online for free now.

I mean look at that picture of him. He LOOKS like an asshole. That is an official NY Times photo of him. The look on his face says to me that not only is he an asshole. He enjoys and is fully aware that he is an asshole. He seems to be proud of his assholeness. Reveling in his sphincter like reputation. Look at that face again. That has got to be the face of a lonely human being. I can't imagine he has any friends at all, except for coat tail riders, and Michael Reidel. ( for those of you outide NYC, Michael Reidel is another known asshole that the entire theater community hates.)

Mr. Brantley knows his name on a review is powerful. It is true. It is. His written opinion has certainly helped close many shows over the years. But with power comes responsibility. You would think that he would respect this power and his ability as a writer to not resort to the lowest denominator of written expression to publicly voice his opinion.

I think instead of a paper as intelligent as The Times, he should consider going to work for The Enquirer or The Globe, whose papers profit off of the incriminating, salacious writing he favors.

Kiss My Ass Ben Brantley, you balding pissed off at the world wanna be. Whoever is dating or partnered with this guy had better start putting out and take one for the team already. How's that for cruel and salacious, you hack.