K-tel Catholic Christmas

I hope some of you are sitting. Well, I assume most of you are sitting, but if you happening to be standing, sit down.
I, Frances Eileen Kathryn Mary Curry, have started going back to church.

(leaving time for people to put their eyes back in their sockets)

I remember back in the 90's when the Northridge earthquake happened, people started running back to church, and then after a few months it sort of died down. I have gone and come back 2 times in the last 20 years, and while it wasn't inspired by world events, much like those people, after a couple of months I stopped going as well. Will I continue going? I think so, but who knows.

Now I know some of my closest and dearest who have issues with the church ( there are at least 3 of you and you and I know who you are) are rolling your eyes or worse, and I can't say I blame you. The Catholic Church certainly hasn't done much to clean itself up, and with the loss of the last pope, well, it's looking pretty grim. However, I find peace and constancy there, which is more than I can say for any other section of my life, so even if I have some doubts about the Transubstantiation, which makes me a questionable Catholic at best, I am going anyway. Cuz it's quiet and I can think, and for one hour a week, I can make myself focus on the positive. So get over it.

Anyway now that that shocker is over I can get to what I wanna say.

Where the hell are the Catholic Christmas Hits???
My favorite part of church has always been the singing, and at Christmas time especially. I love Christmas music, always have. I have gone to mass about 5 times in a row now, and NOT ONE Joy to The World, or O Come O Come Emmanuel, not even a Greensleeves!!!!
They are singing songs I don't know at all!!!
Hell, I know the alto part for almost all those songs and they are singing stuff I have never even heard of!! Prince of Zion??? What IS that?

Gimme some Ding Dong Merrily on High!, or The Infant King (Instant King to you Beechwood folk). I want my Hark the Herald Angels Sing! All those songs with the exclamation point at the end.

When one has returned to church after a long absence, one needs these things to feel comfortable. Like an old sneaker, these songs are all worn out and haggard, and I love them all, so I better get my K-tel catholic Christmas pretty soon or I am just going to start singing them in the middle of mass.

It's NYC, they have to be used to crazy people anyway.