Smoker's Lament

Well it's the new year. With that comes the inevitable resolution or two. This year I decided to quit smoking.

Yes it is true.

I wish smoking wasn't so damn bad for you. The only reason I am giving it up is because I would like to live until I am 80 without having to carry around a cumbersome oxygen tank. I know I should have some higher purpose or something, but that is really the sum of it. Not that it smells up my clothes (I don't care) or your breath (I eat lots and lots of Altoids) or your hair, but because I just wanna live a healthier life.

grrrrrrrrrrr.

So it has only been a couple of days and I am raging like mad. I had an altercation with my ipod and you would have thought I was a new mother dealing with post partem depression. I had to put the ipod down and go in to the next room or I would have shaken it to death.

Even now, as I type this I can feel an enormous rage in me. I could kill something.

It is funny how people react to you making such a drastic change. Some people, usually ex-smokers in this case, are so supportive. Almost too supportive. They want to help you anyway they can, and it starts to feel smothering. Then there are the people who don't want you to succeed. They don't want you to better yourself because then they have to better themselves, which they don't so they wind up resenting you for doing it. These are the people who wave cigerettes in front of your face or when you tell them you are quitting say "yeah, right."

These people bug the shit out of me and they are certainly not very good friends. How can you be friends with someone when you want them to fail?

I am so full of hate right now I think I should be in a padded cell somewhere that people and electronics can be safe from me. My computer could be crushed at any second.

hatehatehatehatehatehate.

Oh yeah, Happy New Year Everyone.